If you’re achieving any of them, you might want to lower your expectations before it’s too late
I know how you picture it:
You achieve your goal. The last drop of sweat crawls from your forehead down to your nose. The warm, summer, setting sun turns the landscape around you gold and red, so that your achieved goal gets its cliche epic background. You inhale the fresh, life giving air into your lungs, you smell the success with both of your nostrils. The eagle, flying in circles in the sky above, remains quiet — he doesn’t want to clash with the epic music, that every epic scene can’t exist without. And if there happened to be a camera to film this, it will certainly be spinning around you, zooming in occasionally.
And that’s OK, let’s hope that’s exactly what will happen. You can even add yourself a masculine square jaw and muscular shoulders (if you’re a guy), or long legs and perfect hips to waist ratio (if you’re a lady). “If you can dream it, you can achieve it” they say, so let’s take it all the way!
But it is also possible, like I mentioned in my blog post on productivity tips, that, upon achieving your goal, all you’ll have to say is “meh”.
So I searched around a bit and came across 10 achieved goals that left the achievers disappointed.
Just a side note — this article is more humorous than our regular blog posts, so don’t take it too seriously. Achieved goal, even if the results are disappointing, is still something you should be proud of. And just so you know, achiever.be is designed specifically to help you with that, so don't forget to sign up!Click here to ACHIEVE Your goals!
Without further ado, here’s the Top 10 List of most disappointing goals:
10. Getting a Ph. D.
No parties, weekends at the library, social life totally neglected, overall health too. If you weren’t lucky to meet the love of your life at the library, probably you’re single too.
But you convince yourself you’re on the right path, you’re learning, you want to utilize that knowledge to make a better future for humanity and yourself. “I’m delaying gratification” you say, “so it will pay off big time once I’m done!”
And here it is, after ears of shortcomings you receive your Ph.D, and… probably nothing changes. The only difference is that your salary is unnoticeably higher and your mom now calls you a “doctor”.
Totally worth it!
9. Making lots of money
I’ve heard a great quote on that topic: “Money only matters when you don’t have any”.
Type “success” or “achievement” in google images, and probably decent number of images will show a guy in a suit with a suitcase — you know, businessman type, wealthy guy, money! Thinking of the things we want to have and yet can’t afford, and it becomes clear why making money is one of the most popular goal of all times.
In reality making money takes a lot of time and attention, often so much that you might not ever realize you achieved your goal already some time ago. Some people find that out only when they do their year-end taxes. And “Oh! Cool” is probably the most enthusiastic expression you could muster.
8. Getting a Six Pack!
Let’s be honest here — in majority of cases, legendary ‘six pack’ is seen as a Holy Grail of attraction, girls magnet, you name it. In other words: you have six pack — you get chicks. As simple as that.
And also as false as that. Many guys with “radiator” on their bellies do not experience intensified popularity. Not surprising, since on a daily basis they don’t get many chances to show it off. They may get few extra looks on the beach, assuming that the rest of the body is equally well shaped and face fairly handsome. But that’s pretty much as good as it gets.
They will get loads of compliments from the gym-bros though. Eating carrots 7 days a week for a year totally paid off!
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7. Running a marathon
Although I personally can’t understand the whole idea of marathon, as I find running one of the most boring activities known to human kind, there are loads of people who are passionate about running long distances.
The health benefits are indisputable, but if you hoped for magical slow-motion moment of epiphany with the “chariots of fire” theme in your head upon crossing the finish line for the first time in your life — you might be slightly disappointed. Instead, you probably will feel exhausted, unsure whether you want to lie down or vomit, and also slightly unappreciated — after all there is another 1000 people crossing the line, and nobody is going to put you on the pedestal because of your achievement.
And now that you know how hard it was (think of those boring and exhausting hours of slow running) and how little prize you got for doing that, you’ll think twice before you run the next marathon.
6. Loosing the virginity
“Teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claim they are doing it” — Dan Ariely, professor at Duke University.
As pleasant and exciting as mature, aware sex can be (immature, spontaneous, naive one too), loosing the virginity is often one of the most disappointing experiences. “First time” not only is preceded by the lack of experience (boys & girls), myths about the preferred size (boys & girls), horror stories about premature ejaculation (boys) and naive foreplay (boys & girls).
But the outcome is often not as exciting as we hoped for (girls). Somehow first-timers expect sex to be as pleasant as masturbation, but amplified by at least 1000 times. Well, guess what — in most cases, “ain’t gonna happen”.
I do not underestimate the deeper fulfillment that comes with meaningful sex: trust, bond, connection, closeness. Or opportunity to brag in front of friends and getting the “expert” badge. But on purely physical level, loosing virginity is often just a “meh”.
5. Being Grown Up
“Brush your teeth, do your homework, eat broccoli, be home by 9, no Xbox, you’re grounded!”.
We hear that all the time as kids, hence we’re so looking forward to grow up, to reach that magical point in our life where we can finally do whatever we want.
But not only we segue from childhood to more responsible years so smoothly, that we do not even notice when exactly that happened, but, as we mature, bans are replaced by responsibilities and obligations.
And often, things we though we want to do, turn out to be not at all as exciting as we pictured them. Still want to stay up all night eating Doritos? “Meh…”
4. Saving a bottle of 40 years old, expensive alcohol for special occasion.
Honestly, what were you thinking. That, because the bottle spend 40 years in some snobbish basement, it is going to make Zeus drinking his nectar jealous? After all it’s still a whisky / wine / whatever, and it will taste as such.
Not only you already went through a bit of a struggle, debating whether your graduation / PhD / marriage / firstborn child is a good enough occasion to open that pretty expensive bottle of alcohol. Now you have to also face the fact, that if you have average Joe’s taste buds, it is very likely to taste just “meh”.
And right now you are thinking what you could have bought for the money should you put this bottle on Ebay, aren’t you?
3. Star Wars: Rogue One
Some movies will never get a bad reviews, because the fan base is larger than the Death Star. But look…
If you were born today, you never heard of Star Wars, would you watch the movie and still give it 8 stars? Or would it rather be “Meh out of 10”?
2. Dating your crush
While writing this article I really wanted to use the idiom “Grass is always greener on the other side”, and now seems to be the best time to do that.
In life we are not all lucky enough to date our crush. We all have one, sure, but getting to date him/her is another story, because the choice is not “solely” ours. There are few lucky people who did that, and well…
Once again the picture of that one special, over-idealized person we painted in our heads, is probably much more of a masterpiece than the muse itself. Out of sudden we have an easy access to all the not-anymore exciting mysteries, and ethereal images became blunt rough sculptures (I’m using lots of metaphors here, but you get the point).
Again, it all boils down to us having unrealistic expectations and fairy fantasies towards the other person. Part of the experience called “being human”. The other one would be saying “meh” when our achievement is slightly disappointing. Meh.
Just when you though we hit the rock bottom of disappointments, just when you though I’ve stripped all the happiness from you, I’m bringing you the disappointment number one known to human kind. And you better sit down…
1. Catching all the Pokemons
You remember? There used to be a widely popular game called Pokemon Go. Haven’t seen many people playing it anymore these days, but it certainly has been a hit.
Believe it or not, there were people who caught all Pokemon!
And that’s pretty much all there is to say about this achievement. They caught them all.
But the funny part is, they did not feel excitement. They felt relief. Relief that they can now go back to their normal lifes. No more sneaking out from work to chase Pokemon, no more cancelling dates, no more fighting with strangers in the park.
This one may be a bit of a twist indeed. There was a disappointment upon catching all Pokemon, but there was also a prize — regained freedom.
Who knows, maybe that was the point of the game in the first place?Start achieving Your goals!
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